What happened on a five day juice fast…

Juice fast yogigems
Juice fast breakfast

I just found my journal from a five day juice fast I did a while ago. It’s the second juice cleanse I’ve ever done. The first was more horror movie than healing experience, but details of that in a future post. I decided to tackle the juice fast demon again because my lovely friend Ems wanted to try Jason Vale aka The Juice Master’s five day juice fast, and I thought I’d give it a go too. Super hot Green Power juicer – tick. Blender – tick. 20kg of fresh, organic fruit and veg – tick, tick, tick. Ok, lesgo.


Day one
Ginger and apple shot, followed by turbo kick juice (see left pic of the ingredients). Wow, I’m buzzing. I feel as high as a helium balloon. Note to self: get up a little earlier to allow plenty time for yoga and fruit n veg preparation. I had to down my pint of juice after I’d faffed around with prepping my mid-day juices for a busy day ahead, and I’m still running late. But who gives a monkey’s when you feel this amazing? Not I.

After 1pm lunch juice: Just had my lunch juice with Ems, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m peckish. But chipper and sparkly nonetheless. I’m also chilly, so am channelling my fantasies of a hearty mug of broccoli soup into a hearty mug of… er… fresh mint tea.

9pm: Three words. Chocolate and cake. Obsessed.

Day two
10am: Wowee, I was shattered last night; in bed by 9.30pm kind of shattered. This morning I resisted the urge to dive head-first into a vat of eggs (hens’ and Cadbury’s Creme varieties) and muscled on with my morning yoga and veg power smoothie. These things are ROCKET FUEL. I feel like the bionic woman. Albeit a hungry bionic woman.

Nishad Kala yogigems
Nish drank all the juices with me, but ate rice on day four and five… and felt AMAZING!

8pm: WAIL. I feel terrifying. I’ve been smote down with flu symptoms – brain feels akin to a block of gouda being grated, waves of nausea are flooring me every 10 minutes, my vision is blurred, I’m so cold I should be stored in the freezer to help with its efficiency, and I’m knackered. All this, in the manner of every cloud’s lining, is overshadowing the gnawing sense of starvation. Hunger? Pfft. Tis a mere fart in the wind compared to how I feel right now. Detox is at its most voracious. To a hot salt bath and then bed. I hope I wake up tomorrow. But then again, if I still feel like this, maybe it’s best I don’t.

Day three
10am: What a disgusting evening yesterday. Nish came home and found me groggy and disoriented, lying in a pool of my own toxins. It was all I could do to prevent him calling the emergency services – he thought I was having kidney failure. I may well have been. I still feel exhausted, but (squeamish peeps turn away now) my ‘bowel offering’ was dark green this morning. I’m on my way to teach yoga… I managed very well with my morning practice, so I should be OK. Pity about the nausea though. Let’s hope it doesn’t make a mad dash for freedom across my yoga mat during downward dog as the class looks on. Oh, and my sense of smell has become like some kind of superhero… I’m smelling things I haven’t in years! All very well if it all smelt of roses, but oh my, London’s Kings Cross St Pancras tube platform needs to be told about its severe case of gingivitus. Did someone die in there?

Day four
10am: Those nighmares were vivid and sweaty. Despite a headful of bad dreams, I feel AWESOME! The horror has PASSED!! I am FREEEEEE.

1pm: Urgh. Feel ungrounded and anxious.

7pm: Ball of anxiety in the pit of my belly has snowballed throughout the day. My blood sugar feels all out of whack, and my body feels uber stressed. Get me to bed. I can’t take this any more.

Day five
FINAL DAAAAAAY! What a relief. I feel horrific – strung out, wired to the moon, and I had what I suspect was an anxiety attack on my way to teach a yoga class today. My brain has gone to rack and ruin… not a marble is left between my ears. What frets me is that in all Jason Vale’s testimonials, detoxers are practically pirouetting through the air with detoxified, clear-headed joie de vivre by the final day of the five day juice fast. JV suggests that if you don’t feel amazing, you should stick out the juices for a few more days. No, Jason. Food tomorrow. And don’t try and stop me.

Day six
I woke up feeling even more highly strung and stressed. My blood sugar feels all over the place – probably because of the high quantities of fruit in the juices. I need some grounding fare to bring me back to earth, some good ole fashioned grains and vitamin B to nourish my brain and nerves.

First meal, lunchtime: curly kale and tomatoes with brown basmati. Hurrah. I love you, kale and rice. I felt grounded and balanced after my meal. Since then I’ve been juicing every morning, and I gotta say, it makes me feel happier than Pharrell Williams.

My friend Ems loved the five day juice fast (apart from the one detox day – JV says you’re always going to have one in the five-day juice fast) and felt amazing at the end of it, so I guess it’s whatever suits your body. For me? I found it a fabulous experience to see how many toxins my body is actually carrying, and how rubbish it feels when they surface – and it will certainly make me think twice before tucking into any food that’s less than organic, green and wholesome.

I’m still not sure why I felt so scarily hideous from the afternoon of day four. Was I detoxing some full-on fear and anxiety from my kidneys? Or did I just need a knife and fork rather than a straw? Was a five day juice fast too much? Or too little? Whatever… here’s to a very interesting experience!

Sat nam x


8 years ago

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