What happened after a White Tantric Yoga healing crisis

white tantric yogaNormally there’s no question of my attending White Tantric Yoga. Even though there’s inevitably a pinch of resistance – it’s not the easiest way to spend a Saturday – I know that by hook or crook, I’ll be there. This year, however, I was feeling extremely reticent, digging my heels in, shaking my head, I just wasn’t feeling it. Surely I could give it a miss just this one year? Thankfully, Nish wouldn’t hear of it. ‘This is something we do together, and we are not missing it,’ he frogmarched me to the WTY website. And so, le sigh, I bought a ticket.

It was the easiest White Tantric Yoga I’ve ever done. There have been some horrors over the years (in the most affectionate way!) but this year was all about sitting cosy in the heart. The first 62 minutes was a hand on heart, palm facing partner, the second thumb to thumb, the third both hands on heart etc, with a lovely 31-minute meditation sitting back-to-back holding hands to top it all off. Wow!

But I should know better than to allow the relative ease of a kundalini practice fool me! The day afterwards, I felt as if I’d been hit by a bus – no change there, this is how I feel after many White Tantric Yoga days. The following day, I felt even worse. And then I nosedived into a fever, an agonising pain in my chest, a cough that exacerbated said pain. In my weird feverish hallucinogenic state, I was watching all the negativity, anger, grief, resentment that had been stirred up by White Tantric Yoga slowly leaving my cells, leaving my heart, leaving my body. It was incredibly slow and incredibly painful, but also a. very fascinating process.

numerology malaI’ve often heard the greater the resistance to something where I know I’m going to be working hard on myself, something like White Tantric Yoga, the more I absolutely need to be there! Thank you once again, Yogi Bhajan. It was immense. I marked the occasion by commissioning the most beautiful numerological mala made by my lovely friend Teja. 

Sat nam x